
Question: Bhagavan, when one goes on hurting how does one manage to forgive him?
Answer: See you do not forgive. I told you this is a negative dharma. If you want to say, “I will forgive,” it is a positive thing. So the basic principle of the dharma is, in the external world you can be positive. In the internal world you can only be negative.
So you cannot forgive. He has hurt you. There is pain. What the dharma says is, be with that pain. Strangely, if you be with that pain, that pain will transform itself. When it transforms itself, you will forgive. Not that you will forgive. Forgiveness automatically happens because that hurt is no more there.
Like if you burn a piece of wood, it becomes smoke and it goes away. Similarly, if you stay with that hurt, if you will live with it, if you will experience it, people actually do not experience what is going on. Then, combustion takes place and it slowly becomes joy. What becomes joy? Pain becomes joy. Suffering becomes joy. Like whatever thing you put in fire be it clothes, be it wood or coal or anything you put, it burns.
Similarly here when you live with something, when you experience something, it undergoes combustion. It gives energy. That very pain gives you energy and when it gives you energy, it gives you joy. When it gives you joy, how will you not forgive him. Automatically it is gone.
So all things must happen automatically. If you try to forgive, it becomes a mental game. You can never forgive. How can you forgive somebody who has hurt you? It is not possible.
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